Are you at that stage in your relationship when your partner whom you were crazy about and loved unconditionally few years ago is the same person you can’t stand for 5 mins. Thoughts run through your mind if this person changed or if you are the wrong person here? Relationship should be about two imperfect people coming together to create a near perfect relationship. Know and appreciate that your partner is imperfect and they might not love you as perfectly as you want them to always (not in all cases).
After series of complaints from your partner about your loud voice during conversations which you have tried to control over time, you still feel your voice is not near perfect for a lady after he tells you it’s okay and he was fine with it. Your partner interviews a lot of celebrities as a talk show host especially women who have subtle low voices than you and you feel he might be attracted to them since your voice is the opposite of theirs. This is because you know he is imperfect and you (also an imperfect person) starts to feel alone, insecure and you mistrust him instead.
Husbands are unhappy when their income cannot meet their families’ basic needs like children’s school fees, monthly food expense, etc. and their wives are saddled with these responsibilities. This causes depression, unconscious nagging, makes them irresponsible and consequently result to insecurity.
Hints on dealing with Insecurity
- Trust – You should have an iota of trust for your partner in order to remove any form of insecurity in your relationship. Trust issues can be as a result of several reasons like:
- Heart breaks you suffered in your previous relationships.
- Wrong advises from friends.
- Hurt/Bitterness – You have to let go of any hurt or bitterness from your past that is holding you back (might be the source of your insecurity). Hurt/Bitterness from your past may be that:
- You were molested at a young age.
- You always feel you will end up a single mum because you were raised by one.
- Low self-confidence – You must believe in yourself and in your capabilities i.e. where others have castigated your self-esteem, you should prove yourself to them beyond their imagination and not accept their opinion about you. Low self-confidence could be:
- You find it difficult proposing to your rich fiancée because of your class (low class).
- Failing to meet peer group standard.
- Love – Love covers all ills. Regardless of your partner’s mistakes you should choose to love them instead and embrace their imperfection. Lack of love in a relationship is seen to be as a result of:
- Growing up outside your home (without care & affection).
- You beat your partner as a form of correction because your dad did same to your mum.
Insecurities can be obstacles in most relationships. We all deal with insecurities & uncertainties daily but you have to make a decision to be okay with your partner no matter what happens; Life is full of insecurities and risks that we deal with. Understanding your partner properly will greatly help you remove any insecurity.