As sensitive as sex is for newly weds, some dread it and don’t even want to talk about it, while others shy away from it hiding under their ego. Reluctance to talk about sex occurs in new relationships as either party is nervous to share intimate details. Discussing sex with your partner could be one of the most difficult conversations to have if you have not had such before; most people are comfortable discussing sex with friends than with their partners. Sex discussion is recommended if you want to have more intimacy with your partner.
Couples should be open to one another i.e. discuss your possibilities and limitations when it comes to sex in order to agree on certain issues. Let’s take a look at some of the issues:
Sex Language – Couples should have sex signs. You both should have your own sex language that you understand. It becomes boring when you have to tell your spouse you want to have sex rather than them understanding from your actions or signs that you want to have sex.
Turn-on & turn-off – Discuss your turn-on and turn-off before or during sex with your partner. Let your partner know the sexual activities you want to or don’t want to explore.
Connection – There is something that connects you to your partner, pour it out.
Intimate Moments – You both should reminiscence on previous moments you enjoyed together and learn new things from them.
Date nights – Date nights are great ways to rekindle your sexual activity with your partner. Plan it and create time for it.
Vacationing – Taking time from your busy schedule and going somewhere away from home can help you both become more intimate and also help your sex life.
Saying NO to sex every time sends a wrong signal and can affect your partner’s ego. Complains of headache, exhaustion and stress at the time of sex is viewed as excuse to your partner who will get turned off.
Deliberately not having your bath at the time of sex can get your partner angry as he/she is used to you bathing before sex. If you explain your reason for saying NO (not all the time) to sex before it occurs, then you can prevent the tension that comes afterwards. For example, if you offer a small explanation for refusing to accept a kiss from your partner rather than a symbolic push, you will prevent an awkward situation.
Sex in marriage could be deeply intimate, pleasurable and recreational if properly explored. Sex can strain intimacy with your partner and in most cases could lead to divorce. Create time for dialogue with your partner after sex to talk about each other’s experiences and learn new ways to do it better. Let your partner know what you really want rather than making them guess how they can satisfy you sexually i.e. you have to be direct with your partner and not hold anything back. Be as open, confident and honest as possible. This way you two are more connected in body and soul.
It is God’s desire for us to have an ecstatic experience in the bedroom. We should loosen up and focus on playful sex.
Sexual communication with your partner is continuous as you will keep communicating your expectations, desires and needs as you both grow and change over time. Communication is key in every relationship.
Have a fun-filled marital intimacy.