It’s the beginning of the year when people plan for the year ahead especially those getting married. Would-be Brides would have started planning for their big day.
Every parent looks forward to three celebrations in the life of their Children – their birthdays, their graduation and of course their wedding day. The wedding day is a big deal for parents (especially the mum) as they plan for this day joyfully and with expectation of sending their daughter to her new home. The bride has the notion that her wedding day is her spouse and hers only, and that she can decide the programme for the day; but, this is not true. Preparation for this big day involves a lot of planning from both the groom and bride’s families – majorly planned by the bride and her family. Mother of the bride wants to be part of the planning and even be in charge because she has been visualizing this day for years – but the bride misunderstands this and she is angered because she does not want it resulting into argument with her mum. She wants to be in full control of her wedding plans. Some mums always want to be in control of wedding plans by trying to plan the wedding they never had.
Why will these two not agree and work together to plan the wedding? Their thoughts:
Bride – She is unhappy that her mum does not like her choice of cream & chocolate as against purple & silver for the reception decoration. Her mum wants her event planner friend to manage the wedding instead of the celebrity wedding planner she (bride) discussed with sometime ago. She wished all will go away so she can plan the fairy tale wedding she had always wished-for.
Bride’s Mum – She practically took complete control of the wedding planning while she left 20% decision making to her daughter who she thinks will make unfavourable ones for the family. She says to herself “I am her mother and I know what is best for her”. She had a say in who attended the wedding even the daughter is not pleased to have such people around for her big day.
Wedding planning can weaken a mother-daughter relationship if something goes wrong. While the mothers want flowery designs in the hall with an expensive cake and a long guests’ list. On the other hand, daughters prefer a low key wedding with few friends and family members.
It’s important for the couple to take their stand – to protect their plans for the wedding that they dreamt of. It’s all about being diplomatic and assertive in convincing their mums.
Usually the day is meant to be a special day for the couple and as such, mothers are to take cognizance of the fact that whatever their inputs are, they should be suggestions and not meddle with the couple’s decisions; after all, it’s their daughters’ big day.
Rejoinders are welcome.