A previous relationship you had with someone ended either on a good or bad note and you both have moved on with your lives. An ex is an example of past love and an explanation for why you deserve better. In some situations, ex-lovers remain best of friends while others don’t want to cross path again. Focusing on those who are besties with their ex, they talk all the time about their current relationships offering advices to each other and consequently companionship.
Relating with your ex often, can raise issues in your current relationship as you tend to compare qualities in your current partner with your ex and your heart is drifted to your ex (due to the regular communication). I have heard stories of partners who went as far as having sex with their exes because they were not sexually satisfied. You will always feel this little attraction when you see your ex but keeping in touch constantly can fuel this attraction into lust. Creating boundaries with your ex will help you focus on your relationship and watch it grow.
Stop allowing someone from your past control your present.
If you follow your ex on any social media platform to see if their current date is better than you or worse……UNFOLLOW NOW! The time and energy you put in to look good for an event simply because your ex will be attending same event is unnecessary. They are no longer part of your life and should remain in your past where they belong. Don’t give your ex more attention because they know when you do so and they will focus on that to get to you.
Practical Scenario: A married mum of one (I know her personally) told her ex recently that she plans to have a child for him in future. Her ex is happily married and he felt she needed the help of a marriage counsellor to get over him.
What will you do if you were the ex?
My Reaction: I was worried because she would not have uttered such if she had a happy marriage. She should discuss her feelings with an adult for proper guidance so she does not jeopardise her marriage.
If you find yourself in a situation of an over bearing ex who annoys you with their calls or sms, have a discussion with your partner about it before things get out of place.
We have all had past relationships with one or more persons and their memory comes to mind once a while but it is pertinent not to undermine the pressure of past feelings. Therefore, it is strongly advised that your ex remains at arm’s length in order not to destroy your present happiness.
REJOINDERS ARE WELCOME!