Relationship is an emotional (esp. sexual) association between two people as defined in the DK Illustrated Oxford dictionary. When you are in a relationship with someone, you can put up with so many things for the love you have for this person but as they say there is always a limit to everything; and you want this person to know when you want to draw the line. This brings up the issue of tolerance in a relationship – what can you or cannot accept in a relationship? We will look at few of the things that you see yourself not accepting in your relationship.
- Cheating – 95% of those in relationship cannot tolerate cheating as they see it as betrayal but some can tolerate it. A friend once told me that she can tolerate cheating but not beating and lies. While some women are of the notion that once a man cheats on you, he will do it again.
- Insults – It may not seem like a big deal but if your partner regularly talks down on you and makes you feel like a mediocre, it’s time you discussed with him/her because you don’t deserve to be in a relationship with someone who does not see your worth. No one has the right to insult you, not even the person you are in a relationship with.
- Beating – A lot of women have tolerated beating from their partners and have gotten used to it. Don’t stay in a relationship where your partner hits you regularly and has refused to stop; that is disrespect and it can affect you psychologically.
- Lies – A successful lawyer filed for divorce from her one-year marriage after she discovered her husband had been impotent which he hid from her before marriage. Such relationship will not survive another second because it is based on lies. When you discover your partner is a patent liar, it’s time you took your leave from the relationship if he/she continues the act.
- Forceful Sex – A woman shared her experience in a recent discussion about how emotionally imbalance she was after 15years of forceful sex by her husband. ‘He usually grabs her hand and pushes her to the bed every time he wants to have sex’. She was reluctant to discuss it with her husband because she felt it would hurt his ego. Couples experiencing this should seek the help of a marriage counsellor before the situation worsens.
If you truly love someone, you will be real and practical with them and not pretend. You will let them know what makes you uncomfortable about them or the relationship so you can both work together for the growth of the relationship.
We should always discuss (in a calm manner) our tolerance and concerns with our partners.