Marriage is the relationship of two opposite sex who have promised to be together because they love and cherish one another. “Marriage is not just a piece of paper signed by couples, it is a lifetime commitment and should not be taken lightly. Couples are meant to stick together as “ONE” no matter what life throws at them”.
Of recent, it is disturbing to know that a lot of marriages are crumbling just few months or years after the wedding ceremonies.
What then is going wrong?
- Some single ladies and guys are sceptical to commit to serious relationships as they don’t want to settle down anytime soon.
- When asked, some of these singles gave reasons of increase in the percentage of unsuccessful marriages recorded in recent years.
- Some people attributed this to ladies who compare themselves with their male counterparts in terms of achievements while others say it is the social media craze where lots of negative things are learnt and exhibited.
- Many more say it is a lack of proper upbringing.
. The union of two different human beings of the opposite sex obviously will bring about some friction especially when they start living together as man and wife. It is important to know that experience as they say is the best teacher, so why are our young ones not learning from the older generation who mostly did not Divorce themselves despite the challenges they must have gone through.
A lot of our young ones today do not understand that dating without living together is different from marriage where you both now have to live together and discover one another’s differences.
Most times it becomes an issue when one party is not ready to accept responsibility for the error and such eventually results into argument…….
When then is Divorce necessary?
Divorce is the separation of the two people that were married and fell out due to irreconcilable differences.
Morally there should not be a time when divorce should be an option if normal steps were taken initially before marriage…. steps like carrying out checks on the spouse for compatibility.
Religiously, it is not right to divorce because series of prayers should have been done before marriage.
Physically, all other issues should have been taken into consideration like what the attraction was e.g. character, spoken English etc.
One would even think that marriages should last longer nowadays than in the olden days where people were betrothed to marry without love (common mostly in Africa tribes).
- Divorce may only be necessary where Domestic violence is involved.
- Divorce may be necessary where a case of adultery had been established.
- Divorce may also be necessary where there is a life-threatening situation.
“The real divorce is emotional separation because people marry for the wrong reasons (e.g. recommendation from Pastor, Sex with the person, Pregnant with your baby, etc.). A lot of issues lead to divorce but the most prominent is inability of the couple to sort themselves out i.e. a husband or wife’s inability to sort himself/herself out and bitterness from the past before going into Marriage”. Most times the problem is not the Marriage but the person(s) in the Marriage” – Leke Alder.
*’Divorce may‘ was used because, separation could be an initial option to ascertain the level of misunderstanding and influence on the other party before a final decision is made on Divorce.
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