The illustrated oxford dictionary defines “a friend as a person with whom one enjoys mutual affection”. A friend is someone you spend time with, confide in and give support to on anything.
Do you currently see yourselves (your spouse & you) in a friendly relationship or strictly love relationship?
Friendship (before dating or while dating) should start from the basic thing as “likeness”, when you like someone, you develop a long lasting relationship with him/her that grows into love. You see your friend as your “partner in crime” and you enjoy every bit of time spent together. Most couples who were best friends when they first fell in love have somewhat lost it and are yet to get the friendship back.
“Marry your friend” is a phrase I see everywhere and the meaning is deep. When you marry your friend, you will have not only an enjoyable marriage but a fun-filled one at that. When you see your partner as your friend, you sustain your marriage and its longevity.
Friendship in marriage means a couple should “know each other intimately” and “be well versed in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes and dreams,” Gottman says in his book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” (published by Crown). Gottman has also found that the quality of a married couple’s friendship is the most important predictor of satisfaction with sex, romance, and passion. If you want to strengthen your marriage at its core, build the friendship between you and your spouse.
Being friends mean you can accept each other’s craziness, cuteness, faults and this leads to the following amongst others:
- Friendship makes you understand the different expressions of your partner and accepting them.
- Friendship allows you to make time for each other like taking time to go out to a quick dinner or a movie.
- Friendship makes you naturally discuss intimate issues with your partner without hesitation.
- Friendship makes you sustain the feeling between you two.
You cannot know all about your spouse before marriage, that is why friendship is important even in marriage as it allows you to know more about one another and also understand him/her. Friendship allows you to discover your spouse’s likes & dislikes, weakness & strength thereby helping each other to be strong. Most marriages don’t last because friendship were not the foundation of such marriages.
It is worthy of note to say that, it is important to marry your friend and much more important to stay friendly with your spouse in that marriage, because it doesn’t give room to hearsays and gossips……you will always be ahead of them.
Friendship, says John Gottman, is at the core of a strong marriage.