The popular saying that “Love is blind” is true but you should not get swayed by this blind emotion to the extent that it makes your life blind. A lot of ladies have been good women to men not ready for commitment and still remain good to them, while some guys have remained with ladies who castigated them regularly out of love. There is nothing wrong staying with someone who has flaws, but if these flaws affect your self-esteem and your relationship after various discussions; it is not time to take the relationship further (to marriage).
There is nothing wrong in wanting the best for your relationship. “Relationship is a team effort; each party is important or there will be nothing called Relationship”. If you hardly know this person, don’t take the relationship further. If things are a bit shaky in your relationship, don’t focus on trying to take things to the next level because it might be a handful. You can either figure out how to make things work or take things slow. Sometimes, people move too quickly and aren’t able to handle the changes.
If you are missing an important ingredient in your relationship, it’s likely there will be no next level.
There are certain signals pointing to the fact that your relationship is not ready for the next level:
- Insecurity: It is hard to have a relationship with an insecure person, as there will be suspicions, pretense and even manipulation; such relationship can sink if taken to another level. There is no next level for your relationship if your partner is uncertain about the future of the relationship.
- Flirty: The kind of man that looks at every woman seductively is not the type you want to advance/progress with.
- Attitude: Been in a relationship with someone who gets annoyed or easily irritated requires a second thought before investing in such relationship. It can be so bad that this person takes his/her attitude everywhere he/she goes causing you unnecessary embarrassment. If you don’t see a future with this person, let him/her know you cannot commit to the relationship.
- Marriageable Type: If you are in a relationship with the unmarriageable type, it is a serious barrier to the growth of such. It is illogical to advance with such person thinking he/she will change. You cannot force someone (who is not interested) to marry you if he/she don’t feel the same way; “the magic isn’t in getting married but in staying married”. Do you really want to wait on someone who wants to spend his/her entire single life adventuring because he/she feels marriage is not a necessity?
- Dominating: Relationship should be two-way not one-way. If your opinions are always kicked out by your partner or you are being shut down every time you air your views, he/she is not right for you. “Genuine love will not enslave you or even dominate your spirit”.
I will close with this John Gottman’s response from an interview “The basis for a lasting relationship is affection and respect for one another. So, ask yourself whether you feel respected in this relationship and whether you feel like your partner is really fond of you”.